Goodbye Mama!!!

It's hard to believe, that I will never be love the way I want to guess i have to accept the fact, that this is my life. This is the way God wanted to to be. maybe this is what he planned for me. It hurts to think about my future, since I know you're not in it. I hate that I spend my nights crying trying to figure out why you gave up.

It's hard to reminisce, especially since I never got a kiss, and I'm pissed because not once did I get a hug. Where in hell was the Love?

It's hard to remember you being there for me, when I needed you the most. To me you were just a ghost.

It hurts to think about you, when all I can remember is you trying to fight a terrible drug addiction, not once did you think about the affliction that you caused me.

I hurt because I don't have love and affection. It's like a fatal attraction except you're fatal Oh I forgot there was never an attraction. You never tried to make me happy. I hurt because I lack a mother and that is why my life is whack! I hurt because you never tried to get back on the right track. You left and fell in love with crack.

It breaks my heart to know that i don't have a mother, and so I suffer.

It hurts when I'm reminded of you coming in late at night, because you were busy getting your high but what about you telling me Goodnight? instead I was forced to say....

Goodbye Mama!!

This and That!!!

Titled as a foster child,
A child of the state.
A child with too many problems
Titled as a child with depression, Borderline personality, Biopolar and ADHD
Titled as a wad of the court
because my mother fell short
and could not keep up.
Now where is my support?
Titled as a child that nobody wants
because I have a history. A history of wanting to be showered with
UNCONDITIONAL love
Now all I can do is look to the sky and try not to ask WHY?
why my life?
But this part of my testimony
this I do know.
My pain will soon turn into joy. Joy that comes from the Lord!!

FreeStyle

I have fallen too many times
and too many times I have gotten up,
I'm tired of falling.
Next time I fall I don't think
I'll have the strength to get up..
So will anybody be there to pick me up..
Have you ever fallen short??
and did not know what to do.
well guess what I have.
Too many times I get caught up
and I don't know which way to go.
And I get lost trying to find my way..

Just writing